London Stanstead: Bare Sick, Innit.

I think I am going to start a petition to make the above the official slogan of London Stanstead, to reflect our colourful local language and cultural heritage i.e. Scene music and Chavism. Granted, I am basing this assumption on Bishop's Stortford being a more south easterly Peterborough, but I think there are more places in the world which are a geographically different Peterborough than would like to admit it. I genuinely think it is the way forward...

This reflection is brought you to by Glasgow Prestwick's slogan: Pure Dead Brilliant. That's just the kind of thing I think would give non-English speakers (or sorry, non-Scottish speakers) the best possible impression of my "country" and inspire trust and friendliness in the local population. Although actually, being patronising to your customers seems to be the way forward for most businesses these days. I can't even buy a bottle of juice without it giving me nursery school flashbacks. I would frankly prefer "fuck off and die" brand juice to all this innocent rubbish telling me it'll return its library books and that I can visit it for a nice chat and a cup of... well, juice I suppose.

Oh, I came back from Scotland, and it was in fact Pure Dead Brilliant. But the airport wasn't. And I am tired and can't walk.