A contingency plan for climate change

OK, so some other PPEists (and E&Mists, and Economics and some other rubbish-ists) I went to a lecture on the Political Economy of Climate Change, because we're awesome like that. And it was pretty cool, but it was also deeply deeply terrifying.

The basic message? We're fucked. Even if we set ourselves targets we probably won't reach, we'll still be well within the boundary for catastrophic climate change. It might not happen, but it probably will. The End.

Soooo, in light of these facts, and the fact that we probably have until 2050 to enjoy the world, I have formulated a Cunning Plan:

1) Die before 2050. This is probably the most instrumental part to avoiding ANY responsibility for how screwed up the world is.

2) Before this time, spend most of my life building an underground bunker full of important cultural relics, many of which will be created by me and many of which won't, but which I'll ascribe to myself anyway. This bunker will contain copious references to my good self, including plenty of missing and/or conflicting biographical details, in order to create an air of mystery. I might rewrite a couple of epic poems to be about me anyway. This bunker will then be sealed against all natural disasters, and the location encoded in a load of clever but not impossible clues (hopefully scattered all around the globe, probably on tops of mountains to ensure against rising sea levels.)

3) Probably not reproduce. I don't know, kids would be fun but then I'd be responsible for bringing them into a very bad world and if they pass down REAL details about my life, that will spoil the fun.

4) Years after my death, after most of the population of the world has been wiped out and civilisation has regressed etc, my bunker will be discovered by some clever archaeologists/scientists/plucky kids with too much time and money on their hands and VERY neglectful parents. They will then find the tools to rebuild society using things they attribute entirely to me. Hopefully this will start, if not a religion, at least some kind of worlwide following where I am considered the epitome of pre-global warming society. I shall be famous in the best possible way (i.e. the mysterious, biographically inaccurate way) and I will have not only escaped climate change, but capitalised on it to ensure I am remembered for thousands of years.

... it's times like these when I wish I wasn't an atheist who didn't believe in an afterlife. Then I could look forward to seeing all this first-hand.

Also, one of the first things I will steal will be Volker Halbach's Logic Manual. Just giving you the heads-up there. It's gonna be mine in the future.